Sex sells, so they say – and it’s absolutely true. The porn industry generates revenues of more than five billion US dollars every year. And no wonder, since pornographic content is freely accessible practically everywhere and at any time nowadays – which means it’s available to children and young people too. A recent survey by the Media Institute of North Rhine Westphalia found that the majority of underage children first watch porn content at some point between the age of 12 and 14. But what effects does this early contact with pornography have on us – physically, psychologically and socially?
Porn – an underestimated addiction risk?
Although there are few reliable figures on porn consumption, one thing’s for sure: approximately 25% of all search requests on the internet are for pornography. Just to illustrate that once again, that’s something like 68 million people searching for pornographic content online every single day.
Munich-based sexual therapist Heike Melzer warns against the consequences of excessive porn consumption, particularly amongst the young. “The earlier and more frequently the brain comes into contact with pornography, the more lasting the changes it undergoes become,” Melzer explains in an interview with FOCUS Online. Regular consumption is enough to cause deep-seated changes in the structure of the brain.
Things become particularly critical when those affected lose control over their consumption. Estimates suggest something like 500,000 people are addicted to porn in Germany alone. Here, too, precise figures are scarce: “Some patients are watching up to 40 hours of porn in a week”, Melzer says. That leaves hardly any time for social contacts, relationships or hobbies.
One key aspect that can make pornography addictive is when porn consumption is combined with self-satisfaction. The reason for this is that dopamine – a “happy hormone” – is released in the brain during orgasm. According to Dr. Melzer, an expert in the field, this process activates the reward centre of the brain in a similar way to the use of cocaine – which leads to those affected feeling the need to reach this state over and over again.
This effect rapidly wears off, however. After a short time, so-called “desensitisation” sets in, as the brain gets used to the dopamine being released, and begins to need increasingly strong or extreme stimuli just to achieve the same feeling of happiness. The watcher needs ever-harder films to be aroused at all. This continual search for more intense stimuli can even lead to physical and psychological symptoms in those affected, including concentration disorders, reduced libido, depressive moods, emotional deadness, and even erectile problems and impotence. The possibility of porn addiction is just one part of the problem, however, because pornography also influences how young people perceive relationships and sexuality.
Porn and the danger of unrealistic expectations
A study by the Regional Institute for Media of North Rhine Westphalia yielded some worrying results: 32% of 11-13-year-old boys and 21% of girls of the same age said that porn conveys to them how they should be behaving when having sex. At the same time, only around one-third of all the children and young people surveyed believe pornography is unrealistic. Young people seek orientation in porn – they want to know how sex works, and think sex films online can show them how it “really” is. The consequences? Minors are given a completely false concept of sex, because porn is actually about as akin to reality as a science fiction film. They depict fantasies which often do not happen in that way in reality, and completely leave out important aspects like consent and communication.
Many young people unconsciously take over what they see in porn, believing it is the norm. Scenes in which choking, slapping or spitting are depicted as part of “normal” sexuality can lead to a situation whereby violence is perceived as a natural component of sex. “There are 14-year-olds who have been choked during their first kiss. That’s dangerous,” says couples therapist Birgit Kollmeyer.
According to a report by the Children’s Commissioner for England, almost half (47%) of 16-21-year-olds believe that girls expect sex to include physical aggression. A further 42% of those questioned even believe that girls would enjoy violent sexual acts.
To avoid misunderstandings, it is important to differentiate between pornographic depictions and consensual sexual preferences such as BDSM. Practices such as bondage or dominance games are no problem in reality, as long as they are based on consent, trust and clear communication. BDSM does not involve violence in the conventional sense, but a controlled, voluntary power game which takes into consideration the wishes of all participants.
The problem with porn, however, is that practices like these are often shown without prior consent or communication. Young people who have no experience of it or are not properly informed, however, could wrongly believe that these actions always have to be part of sex – and that consent is a secondary issue.
What can parents do?
“It’s pointless to ban porn,” explains sexual scientist Konrad Weller of Hochschule Merseburg in an interview with the Süddeutsche Zeitung newspaper. Pornography is now freely available everywhere on the internet, and parents cannot supervise their children around the clock – even if they might want to do so. A ban would only make the pornographic content more thrilling still, and prevent young people from speaking to their parents about the issue.
Ensuring that children and young people are able to critically question pornography, therefore, requires better education. To achieve this, the focus should be on three things:
- Reality check: Young people must understand that porn merely shows fantasies and does not depict reality.
- Sensitisation to consent and communication: Young people have to learn that any form of sexuality is only healthy if it is based on mutual consent.
- Open conversations: Parents should discuss pornography and sexuality with their children openly – even if this can be unpleasant. This is the only way young people can learn to critically question pornography and develop healthy concepts of relationships and sexuality.
Parents cannot prevent their children from coming into contact with pornography. They can, however, help ensure this contact does not lead to false expectations or damaging behaviour.
Translated by Tim Lywood
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