How young women are forced into prostitution by men offering apparently loving relationships.
The so-called “loverboy method” is a form of human trafficking which enables offenders to deliberately target several young women at once – usually via social media and dating apps. They shower the women with compliments and promises to bind them to them emotionally. The goal, however, is forced prostitution!
How do offenders operate?
Loverboys seduce the young women and girls with their charm and typical tricks, so that the young women and girls initially feel sought-after and protected. They are lured into offenders´ networks with compliments and gifts. The perpetrators tend to turn up in expensive cars and clothing in an effort to convey a false impression of success and wealth.
To begin with, it seems very like a loving relationship. The offender comes across as charming and understanding, promising closeness, love and a future together. In reality, however, the relationship has only one purpose: control.
The women are intensively manipulated, and become psychologically and financially dependent on the offender. Many are isolated from their family and friends, and made compliant using physical violence. Feelings of guilt and threats (“I’ll leave you!”) then enable the crucial step: the women are forced into prostitution.
The offenders control the everyday lives and earnings of the women. The message communicated to the victims is always the same: It is never good enough. You’re nothing without me! You belong to me!
This emotional blackmail, combined with feelings of guilt, shame, financial problems and a lack of feelings of self-worth, make it extremely difficult to escape the situation.
Checklist: is your loved one actually a loverboy?
- He doesn´t talk about his job, or the school he attends. His stories have gaps in them, or are difficult to believe.
- Although he has no fixed job, he drives a top-of-the-range car and wears expensive clothing.
- I haven´t been introduced to his family or friends.
- He talks down my family and friends, and wants me to break off the contact.
- He lies to me.
- He threatens to leave me or to publish naked photos unless I do as he demands.
- His compliments and gifts only ever come at a cost to me.
- He suddenly has financial problems, and needs my help. He threatens me if I don´t do so.
Although these features are not necessarily those of a loverboy, you should be careful if your boyfriend exhibits any such characteristics. The best thing to do if you are uncertain is to ask your friends, your parents or a relationship advice centre.
What helps?
Prevention, education and dealing sensitively in the social environment are all absolutely key here. Schools, youth centres and social media need to call out these kinds of offenders and their ways of operating. Similarly, special advice centres and women’s refuges need to be created, to ensure victims get the help and support they need. It is also important that a strict process is in place against offenders. Recordings of chats, calls and conversations can be helpful in this case. The priority, however, is the well-being of the women involved.
Terre de Femmes is a prevention project for mutual education and sensitisation regarding these issues. The experts there can provide concrete help and recommend actions.
“Sexual exploitation in forced prostitution has severe psychological and physical consequences. There are currently very few organisations in Germany providing education about the “loverboy method”. The group of experts at the Council of Europe for combatting human trafficking (GRETA) found in 2019 that the efforts to restrict human trafficking, and child trafficking in particular, needed to be strengthened by the German authorities. GRETA demands, as part of a wider package of measures, better education of school pupils and teachers regarding the various forms of human trafficking, and first and foremost the loverboy method.”
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